Deer Hunter Weekend

I used to keep several framed articles, poems, jokes, etc. on the walls in the market for all to enjoy. This one was from the newspaper but gave many a deer hunter something to think about!

SATURDAY

1:00 a.m. – Alarm clock rings

2:00 a.m. – Hunting partner arrives

2:30 a.m. – Throw everything except kitchen sink into truck

3:00 a.m. – Leave for deep woods

3:15 a.m. – Drive back home and get gun

3:30 a.m. – Rush to get back to woods before daylight

4:00 a.m. – Set up camp; forgot tent

4:30 a.m. – Head into the woods

5:00 a.m. – Skin hand and ankles climbing into deer stand

5:15 a.m. – See deer

5:16 a.m. – Shoot deer

5:17 a.m. – Bury dog I thought was deer

6:05 a.m. – See eight deer

6:06 a.m. – Take aim and squeeze trigger – click

6:07 a.m. – Load gun while watching deer go over the hill

8:00 a.m. – Head back to camp

9:00 a.m. – Still looking for camp

10:00 a.m. – Realize you don’t know where camp is

12:00 noon – Fire gun for help; eat wild berries

12:15 p.m. – Run out of bullets; eight deer come back

12:20 p.m. – Strange feeling in stomach

12:30 p.m. – Realize you ate poison berries

12:45 p.m. – RESCUED!

12:55 p.m. – Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped

3:00 p.m. – Arrive back at camp

3:30 p.m. – Leave camp to kill deer

4:00 p.m. – Return to camp for bullets

4:30 p.m. – Load gun, leave camp again

5:00 p.m. – Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging me

6:00 p.m. – Arrive back at camp; the eight deer are grazing by camp

6:01 p.m. – Load gun

6:02 p.m. – Fire gun, shoot hole in truck radiator

6:05 p.m. – Hunting partner returns dragging deer

6:06 p.m. – Resist strong urge to shoot partner

6:07 p.m. – Fall into campfire

6:10 p.m. – Change clothes; throw burned ones in campfire

6:15 p.m. – Take pickup; leave partner and his deer in woods

6:25 p.m. – Pickup boils over; STOPS!

6:30 p.m. – Stumble and fall; drop gun in mud

6:35 p.m. – Meet bear

6:36 p.m. – Take aim; gun blows up, barrel full of mud

9:00 p.m. – Bear leaves; wrap “effin” gun around tree

Midnight – HOME AT LAST!

SUNDAY

Watch football on TV while slowly tearing up license; mail them to game warden with very clear instructions where he can put them.

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2 Responses

  1. HAHAHAHAHAAA!! That is so funny!

  2. I dont think I have ever heard thst! That was hilarious!!-Anne

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